Auditions

I thought that when I left my full time job I'd have auditions coming out my eyeballs. But I've had around an audition a week...sometimes not even that. And I'm not really that picky - if there's any kind of role which doesn't require an old lady or a man, I'm there. Sometimes I'm not even as picky as that. I could play a man. I am an old lady. I'm still in my third-life crisis (yes, I've lived three times).

But seriously, where are all the fun, meaty roles that are meant for me? Well, they're there. But so is every girl, my age, older and younger, who was ever any good at singing and acting, who decided to move here cause she WAS good at singing and acting. When I stand outside the audition room, talking friendly-ly to the person behind me but actually running my song over in my head, EVERYONE I hear is good. I don't think I've actually ever heard a voice coming from the other side of that door that was bad. Stop right there.

If I was a scientist (wait!), and I had a monkey (where do I get a monkey?), I could recreate 'Outbreak' and create a virus that rots the vocal chords of all female singers in my age range. Ok, that's done. Shit. I think I was supposed to be the monkey.

I sound like I'm drunk. I'm not. What I'm trying to say is that this is hard.

I've just finished reading David Mamet's 'True and False'. It's a very good read. But he's an opinionated bastard. Sometimes you just want to slap him and cry 'I'll prove you wrong you fool!' But he says things like: if you have something to fall back on you will fall back on it. And: don't you hate those people who smile all the time, they're just trying to create for themselves their own emotional state. Well I say: poo to you. Even though I'm at your school and I think it's great. But he also tells people that if they want to act they should create their own theatre company and just act, act, ACT. So maybe I'll start doing some of my own work. Put on a show, or something.

Matt and I are writing a screenplay. I think it's very good. He's the one who likes to take it slow and read the how-to book and follow all the steps and get everything perfect. And I'm the one saying 'why aren't we writing already? It doesn't need to be perfect. We'll fix it later.' I think we're a good team. And I really am excited about our movie. I won't give away the plot, cause it will be coming to a tv screen near you, sometime in the distant, distant...distant future.

Class is going well. Scene analysis is hard, but I can't wait to put our scene up in front of the class. It's one thing to talk about technique, and it's another thing entirely to do it! And repetition is good. It's harder now cause we've moved on from the 'you're wearing a white shirt' to the 'you're surprised', 'you're nervous', 'you're sympathetic' thing. It's often way easier to see something in a person than it is to put a name to it. But it's making me take note of what I see in people in weird places. Like on the subway I was like 'you're bored' about the lady listening to her friend and 'you're drunk' about the man collapsed on the floor. I'm insightful.

And I have an audition for a short film this weekend. I'm so excited that I got an audition time. It's hard, cause I have lots of musical theatre stuff on my resume, but NO plays or film. So when they get 1000 submissions, why on earth would anybody pick me? But I got picked...for an audition at least.

Maybe it's my big break. Heck, with an audition a week my odds are worse than my Melbourne Cup horse - Older than time. Whoever named that horse is an idiot. If I was Older than time I would...oh no...it's late. Time for bed.